Laws of Attraction

I know we are post-Valentine's Day, but nevertheless, key elements of our current traditions of Valentine's Day have come to the surface. By coming to the surface, I mean that they have caused me to undergo certain thought processes. What does it mean to celebrate Valentine's Day as a college student? As a college student, the request, "Will you be my Valentine?" is never heard. I can only assume it is never even stated with the exception of those tiny cards we used to pass out in grade school that continue to be exchanged among the female student population.

I pose yet another question to help answer my first: What does it mean to be one's Valentine? To this, I have come up with a list of possibilities:

• You like one another, but are simply the best of friends
• You really like one another and may even be dating
• You really like one another but neither of you can find in yourself the courage to actually say, "I like you." so you instead asked the other to be your Valentine
• Same as directly above, but exchange the word "like" for "love"
• You're married to each other. End of story.
• You may not be the best of friends, but someone recognized you as one of their many friends and decided to give you a card so that you would not feel that everyone else is that person's Valentine and you got the shaft.

Now back to my initial inquiry. How does a college student celebrate Valentine's Day. To this, I have observed three possibilities:

1. You are a girl and you are in a relationship so you get a wonderful evening with that special man in your life where he treats you to dinner, gives you a card, and some sort of gift (flowers, chocolates, a teddy bear, lingerie that you probably won't wear even if you are married to him, etc.)
2. You are a guy and if you are in a relationship, you spend money on a day that is most likely not her birthday, Christmas, or your anniversary to give her dinner and a gift as stated above. If you are not in a relationship you have no one and sit at home alone (either way you get hosed, you just may not realize it)
3. You are a girl or a guy who may or may not have a special someone but venture to join a gender segregated affair in an estrogen night or testosterone night respectively.

In conclustion of my analysis, I pose one more question: Is Valentines Day all it's cracked up to be? The answer to this can only be accurately stated in two short words...Hell No.